Bagels’n’Bits. Episode 1.

(I originally wrote the first 6 episodes of Bagels’n’Bits in 2008. I’m just copy/pasting here, planning on new content soon. Any “current” info is going to be horrifically out of date. For instance… I was in school for massage therapy at the time of this writing.)

Hello, and welcome to “Bagels ‘n’ Bits”. We’re here today to talk about useless information. Is it really useless? Or does it actually come in handy at times? I say… It can’t hurt. I’ve racked up quite the mental library of absurdly useless facts, and I’ve decided to share them with you, the listeners. Perhaps, if I transfer this knowledge to you, it might leave my head and make room for some important facts… like the names of all of the muscles in the body that I’ll have to learn this fall.

Anyway… On with the show. 

1200px-Nine-banded_Armadillo.jpgBy http://www.birdphotos.com – Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4325104


They say that the very beginning is a very good place to start. So, we’ll go ahead and use armadillos for the first episode. Armadillos… You know those amazingly abnormal armored animals one might find dead along a Florida freeway? Yes. Them. They are nearly always born as identical quadruplets. An interesting fact, for sure. But not nearly so interesting as the fact that almost 5% of these foursomes of not-so-furry creatures actually carry “Mycobacterium leprae”. Yes, folks. That is leprosy. Armadillos are, in fact, quite prone to carry the disease, due to their lower-than-human body temperatures. Especially in their feet and noses. But don’t worry too much. It is only transmitted to humans through bodily fluids, especially nasal discharge. So, as long as you can steer clear of armadillos with colds, I think you’re pretty safe. Still, you’d hate to become one of those 2.4 million on earth with the dreaded disease, so I’d refrain from getting within 10 feet of one, personally.

And now… a word from our sponsor.

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Do it for you.

Yesterday sucked. Nothing like a couple of bombs and everyone’s photos of a horrific scene to ruin your day. My prayers go out to everyone involved, hurt, worried, sick, and even those who just, like me, felt a little emptier inside for it. It’s not even a huge natural disaster, that you can send fresh water, donate to the relief effort, or make hats for the suddenly-homeless. You just have to watch it happen, then be reminded of it all across your Facebook feeds, the news, and even sometimes a blog like this.

But this blog isn’t about Boston, wicked people, or tragedies.
This blog is about you.

When these things happen, what do you do? Run to family, hug friends, send up prayers? You should be doing all of these things, and one more.
At some point, just… be.

Stop. Stop being for others. They will survive a minute without you. Stop wondering why it happened, who did it, what it all means. Just stop. Be. Feel your heart beat. Step outside. Taste the air. Close your eyes and feel everything around you live. Feel the presence of God through all the microscopic life and the giant living things around you. Touch the grass. Look at the sky. Feel the rain or the sun or the snow. Realize just how tiny you are compared to it all, and then realize that without you, this world would not exist. It would be another world entirely. A worse world. All because of you. Because someone saw your momma’s belly and smiled. Because you smiled when you were 2, and someone was touched. Because someone heard you laugh when you were 10, and it affected their next decisions for good. Because you helped that stranger once. Because without you, your friend would never have made it through that rough patch.

You made the world what it is today. Not the bad parts. Because that day when you snapped at that stranger in line, she went home and was glad that her day had gone better than yours had, and was reminded of how much she appreciated her family. When you gave that ass-hole driver the finger, it actually made him think twice next time he almost cut someone off. When you said “no” to giving a hand that once, your friend understood and said a prayer for you, because she knew just how hard it is for you to say no, and knew you must have been going through something.

Without you, this world would not exist. It would have been short untold thousands of smiles. There would have been fewer prayers said for friends, by friends, for strangers, by strangers. Just imagine the happiness you feel at one smile, one prayer, one laugh… then imagine the world without an exponential multiplication of that happiness. You’re not just a person living on this planet. You are a creature of the earth, of God, and you have personally made this world beautiful.

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Ooh! I love this one. The beads make it very shiny, for sure. I’m just going to have to borrow the pattern for a bit, though I may have to scale it down to work with the thick yarn I’ve got.

Miss Crafty Fingers

I joined a swap on brooch swap on ravelry and has been trying my hands on making a knitted flower. This is my first knitted pattern! 😀

Materials
DK weight yarn
3.5mm needles (straight or circular, doesn’t matter)
Sewing needle
Sewing thread (matching colour as yarn)
Beads, pearls, buttons or sequins of your preference

Optional (if you’re making it into  a brooch):
small piece of felt
Safety pin or brooch pin

Abbreviations
CO – Cast on
k – knit
p – purl
sl1k – slip 1 knit wise
sl1p – slip 1 purl wise
k2tog – knit 2 stitches together
p2tog – purl 2 stitches together
YO – Yarn Over
BO – Bind off

Pattern

Petal (make 6)
CO 8
Row 1: sl1k, k7
Row 2: sl1p, p7
Row 3: sl1k, *K1, YO* (repeat from * to * till end of row) (14 stitches)
Row 4: sl1p, P to end

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Testing. Testing. Eins. Zwei. Drei.

Oh, great. Another excuse to babble, in written form.  Current mental thoughts?  Why does L from Death Note look like he’s already dead? and why does Kira have to be kind of a jerk?

Nope. new thought. Why does my cat think that sitting with her butt in my face and her tiny paws pressing all 13 of her pounds into my boobies is comfortable?

Anyway: this was really just a test-run. I’ve got a cat to appease so she can not molest me all night long.

Signing off now:

-da Bagel person

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